Recently I was reading a Guardian article about MOMA, you know - the one in New York. The article stated that the new $450m expansion and reopening of the gallery will enable many fantastic things - that I won’t list here, you can read it for yourself.
However the one thing that struck me above all others was the flexibility of the space and of how the works will be hung, not periodically for the most part, but perhaps more contextually. Artists from different periods of history, art movements and countries will be displayed alongside each other. I think this is a much needed development and although not the first time a major gallery has made this change, I think it’s more relevant now than ever!
Since starting as a TEFL teacher almost a year ago, my thinking about context has changed dramatically and although I don’t enjoy being ‘flexible’ I’m starting to think that it’s the only way forward and how we can get things done with the limited amount of time we have.
The future is completely uncertain and all the ideas I had in my head, let’s say, three years ago are becoming more elasticated. Changing shape. I struggle with the idea of flexibility and giving my precious time over to people especially employees makes me anxious. I am all too aware that it’s a privileged position to be in, to be able to make the choice for yourself about your work time and how you allocate it. But now and not for the first time (but for the first time in a while) I find myself in a not so flexible situation or perhaps…. rather a very malleable one indeed.
Starting a new TEFL job again and this time in Italy, I have found it difficult to get ideas going knowing that potentially at any minute I might have to stop what I’m engrossed in and go to a lesson - the strange thing is in previous jobs like this - where I could have been called in at any minute I don’t recall ever feeling this anxiousness. Perhaps being in a new place, not on ‘home' soil’ gives a different impression and I feel a lack of confidence when it comes to standing up for myself?
But having thought over this for the last few weeks I have realised that the only way to move forward is to embrace it and realise that the ‘right time’ may never come along and I can’t wait for it! Now, I could be persuading myself rather than owning up to the fact that perhaps this job is not for me but it offers me many things I do enjoy; The chance to work and live in another country, to teach a topic I love and to support young people in an educational environment. I realise that I have been so focused on building a career for myself, wanting jobs that will push me upstream in the right direction and are linked to my personal interests, that I haven’t really stopped to look at how those jobs have made me quite unhappy in other ways.
I listened to a really good podcast the other day, Letters from a Hopeful Creative. In episode 23, the presenters Sara Tasker and Jen Carrington talk to a business women who is afraid her idea of business is never going to happen - now I know that I am only 30, but this too is something that crosses my mind all the time. I have so many ideas about what I want to create in the future and it feels like, so little time to realise them. But if I keep telling myself this, the future is exactly where my ideas are going to stay for eternity, dangling at the end of a imaginary stick like a well formed perfect carrot and I am the donkey that will be forever chasing them. In reality I have to grow some pretty crap carrots before I know that perfect fully formed, sweet tasting one will come along.
I’m very good at putting the blame onto other people. It’s their fault I haven’t realised my dreams yet of owning my own social enterprise or starting a podcast because they are giving me too much work to do. But in fact they are employing me - paying me to do something I’m good at for money! Also it’s up to ME to sometimes take the ownership and say, this is just too much for me and I need more time or less work.
We have to be flexible in our planning, our thinking our making. To utilise those moments in between. Read 15 mins of your book in your lunchbreak if you’re too tired in the evening. Keep a sketchbook in your pocket for ideas that pop into your head. Download and listen to that podcast that will change your thinking whilst you travel to work. There are many ways to make these things happen it just depends how much we really want them and how we plan our time. Also I have realised that I can’t wait for everything to be perfect, because you can bet when I have the perfect studio and the perfect 3 day a week job and the right materials - the ideas will dry up and the drive won’t be there. If you have ideas, you have to make them happen NOW. Don’t wait for perfection, it doesn’t arrive at your doorstep, you make it through hard work and many, many mistakes.
I am so interested in fact in this idea of perfection and mistakes and careers that are grown from them that my podcast will be on this. Art of the Unplanned will feature guests that have arrived at creative careers - all kinds of creative - I’m talking artists, musicians, teachers, poets, writers, educators, designers, dancers, actors, chefs, gamers… there are so many ways to be creative and I can’t wait to talk to people and broaden my knowledge - your knowledge too.
I want to talk to people about their first steps, the wrong steps and where they think those steps eventually led to… and where they may lead in the future. Creative careers are carved and moulded, full of twists and turns, encounters with interesting people and unusual circumstances.
What may feel like a mistake at the time, may turn out to be marvellous.
Art of the Unplanned will launch in the NEW YEAR. There I have said it now. So I have to do it - if you see me hold me to account for it OR tell me to hold myself to account!